Words by Jesse Serwer and J-RockaZ
Central Brooklyn, and Flatbush in particular, is probably the only place in the world where at any given moment you can find people from every Caribbean island— Haitians, Jamaicans, Trinidadians, Vincentians, Bajans, and even Puerto Ricans and Dominicans—all standing on the same block at the same time. It’s an environment that breeds funny situations and people, so it was only a matter of time before an enterprising entertainer represented this culture clash comedically. In his “Haitian V” web skits, sometime stand-up comic Vladimir Barthelemow Thelonious Rasputin Slocumb Calixte the 3rd plays a fish-out-of-water, middle-aged Haitian man (Calixte is in his 20s but based Haitian V on his 40-something uncle) attempting various hustles in New York City. While the fedora-capped V clashes with a colorful cast of characters that includes a subway candy hustler, NBA baller Rajon Rondo and an online predator with the screen name “Mr. Boomshackalack,” his most frequent foil is Ignorant Trevor, his Jamaican arch nemesis. Recently, Calixte played a “Haitian V-like character” in this spec Doritos commercial, submitted to “Crash the Superbowl,” a contest offering Super Bowl airtime and a potential million dollar payday to the amateur commercial with the most votes. Watch the video and vote here, and see below for more of Haitian V in action.
In this never-aired Snickers commercial, former heavyweight champ Shannon Briggs discovers V in bed with his girlfriend, before a brief chase leads to the ingenious catchphrase, “You gonna die…why wait?”
Haitian V gets caught bootlegging…again
Haitian V tries to comprehend the Lightning Bolt dance