Typewriter: Excerpt From Vybz Kartel’s New Book

Words by Jesse Serwer and Vybz Kartel

If there is one constant in Jamaican/reggae/dancehall music in 2011, it’s that, on any given day, Vybz Kartel is always the most relevant topic. Fresh off his gig performing via satellite from Jamaica for the crowd at Miami’s Best of the Best concert last Sunday, announcing plans for a reality TV series (for which he’s planning a staggering 33 episodes) and issuing a lengthy, rambling statement justifying his recent actions (in which he paints himself as a cultural martyr/leader in the tradition of Marcus Garvey and Bob Marley, stating “I did not want the same fate to reach me at the time, I did not want them to muzzle me also, so I took a decision that I felt I had to, I had to trick Babylon. I realized if I kept doing outrageous and outlandish stuff, they would write me off as just an attention seeking artiste…”), Mr. Palmer is apparently working on a book. Though it’s not quite clear what it’s called, yesterday he unveiled an excerpt—the first paragraph of the first chapter—via Facebook that has even more people scratching their heads and wondering if he’s for real. Read below, and decide for yourself.

I start this book as I start each day of my life, with a “Thank you Jah” for giving Adidja Palmer the inspiration to be Vybz Kartel; may the words on the pages of this book be well received, may it touch the heart of the oppressors of my people so that they may treat the poor with compassion. May it be a tool that Society will utilize to understand ghetto livity so that you may change your impression of us and start treating ghetto people with respect whether they are your helpers, gardeners, bar maids, drivers or any marginalized person in Jamaica. May it reach the desks of the prison officials so that they may implement more humane and positive procedures in our jails so that our people can be welcomed back into society after they have done their time. May it be a reference point for Jamaican males that have never taken the time to understand what our mothers, baby mothers, sisters and women in general go through. Most of all, may it be a source of motivation for my people especially the young ones as they find their way through life in this lovely place Xaymaca, its original name before the genocidal Christopher Columbus came to plunder and destroy an entire Amerindian people under the guise of Christianity. It is with this hope that I have taken the time to write this book in between my musical career and my role as father, son and baby father; I ask that this book is blessed. The hate from the haters is expected but guess what, Kartel sending you a blessing too because the Gaza nuh bad mind. Come on, I know you going to read this book, that’s okay with me, the only way we can have a better Jamaica is if we spend the time learning from each other.