Throwback Thursdays: Lieutenant Stitchie, “Wear Yu Size”

Words by DJ Autograph—

Gentlemen, have you ever been asked by a member of the opposite sex whether or not a particular article of clothing looks good on them? And in your head the obvious answer is, “No it’s too small” but in the answer coming out of your mouth is, “It looks great!”? Well the Dancehall Governor, Lieutenant Stitchie, tells us his story, over the Jammy’s produced riddim, of when one of his dates doesn’t wear her right-sized shoe because she wants to save face and to impress him.

The comical video begins with the Lieutenant in the studio addressing those girls who want to wear a size 8 shoe on size 10 feet, advising them that they’ll have to “Bruk down the heel back and cut unnuh toe front.” Soon he’s telling the story of how he approached a girl promising to take her around the world to which she responds by dragging him shopping. She frantically runs around each store, dragging him from section to section until he puts a stop to it with “Wha mek yuh want everything that is new? The only thing I can afford is a pair of shoe.” She’s not pleased but apparently decides – after some persuading – that the shoes are better than nothing. The adventure continues at the shoe store with the young lady trying to buy shoes two sizes too small. Stitchie tries to shove the young lady’s foot into the obviously too small shoe while she protests.

Next, the Lieutenant and the young lady disembark a bus in busy Cross Roads for a movie at the popular Carib theater. Stitchie immediately observes, “As wi step offa di bus di gal start walk slow.” After he questions her about it, she responds, “No man Stitchie that’s the way mi wah fi go.” She tries to stop and rest a few times before they get to the theater, only for her to sit down in agony and finally admit, “Mi wear size 10 and buy a size 8 shoe.” He begins to laugh so much, a crowd and gathers ’round to “laugh her to scorn.”

So ladies, the next time you find yourself trying to squeeze into a pair of shoes (or any other article of clothing for that matter), remember the Governor’s advice to “Wear Yu Size.”